Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - The Challenge of Booking Together
Booking seats together for families is one of the most frustrating parts of air travel. When booking online, you can select seats together easily. But once those bookings hit the airline's system, things change. Seat assignments can get split up, leaving families seperated on flights.
While it's just an inconvenience for some, for those traveling with small children or others needing assistance, it can make for a difficult and stressful journey. Suddenly the adults are no longer able to trade off holding babies, passing snacks or toys, or helping the kids. And if seats get moved around at the last minute before a flight, you're stuck.
So why does this happen so much? Part of it comes down to how airlines assign seats. They use algorithms to maximize revenue and distribute passengers efficiently. Families and groups aren't given high priority. Airlines want to make it easy for solo travelers to grab single seats.
Airlines also don't guarantee seats on many discounted fare types today. So even if you book together initially, they make no promises to keep your group in those seats. Seat assignments can change anytime leading up to departure.
Travelers have some options to try staying together. Paying extra fees to pre-assign seats can help, though doesn't guarantee it. Checking in right at 24 hours before departure maximizes your chances of getting seats kept together. Traveling during less busy times makes it more likely as well.
Being nice to gate agents and flight attendants can make a difference too. Often they can shuffle folks around to create seats for families at boarding time. Though it's not guaranteed.
One tip is to book aisle seats across from each other. Even if the airline splits up a family's seats, they are more likely to keep aisle seats together on each side. And even if there is a stranger between kids, parents can still pass items across the aisle.
What else is in this post?
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - The Challenge of Booking Together
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Split Up at the Gate
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Strategies for Staying Together
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - When Kids Kick the Seat in Front
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Crying Babies and Judging Eyes
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Elbow Wars in Tiny Spaces
- Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Why Airlines Make it So Hard
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Split Up at the Gate
Even the most prepared families can find themselves split up when boarding the plane. You booked your seats together months ago. You checked in right at 24 hours before departure. You arrived at the gate with time to spare. And yet, somehow, half your family gets seated in row 32 while the other half ends up back in row 15.
This last minute seat shuffle is one of the most aggravating experiences families face when flying. You did everything right - so why does the airline bump your seats around right as you're boarding?
Several factors lead airlines to rearrange seat assignments at the gate. One is that planes occasionally swap out at the last minute. The new aircraft may have a different seat configuration, forcing reassignments. Or if there are empty seats due to no-shows, the gate agent may reshuffle travelers to consolidate open rows. Weight and balance issues can prompt moving passengers around as well.
Airlines also continue to assign seats to standby passengers and upgrade members up until boarding begins. If you get bumped for an elite flyer or standby traveler, there's little recourse. Gate agents may promise to find new seats together, but once onboard that's unlikely.
Traveling with small children compounds the frustration of getting split up. Kids under 5 generally can't sit alone, yet attendants still place kids by themselves if seats get shuffled. Parents end up carrying babies or soothing upset toddlers instead of settling in for the flight.
Getting split across the aisle poses challenges too. Passing snacks, toys or electronics suddenly becomes a major hassle. You lose the ability to entertain kids or quickly assist if needed. For special needs kids who require monitoring, cross-aisle separation prevents parents from providing care.
So what should determined families do to avoid getting separated? Arriving early to the gate definitely helps. This gives the agent time to problem-solve before the pressures of boarding pile up. Politely asking the agent to keep your group together can work wonders too. Many truly try their best to accommodate.
If you do get split up, don't give up hope. Ask flight attendants if there's an open seat where you can relocate once onboard. Fellow travelers often volunteer to switch if they understand the situation. Bringing candy to share if you do have to ask someone to move goes a long way too!
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Strategies for Staying Together
Keeping families together on flights sounds so simple. Just book seats together and show up to board - easy, right? Yet as so many exasperated parents discover, airlines seem to revel in splitting up seat assignments and scattering family members to the winds.
Believe me, after my wife and I took our twin toddlers on their first flight, I learned plenty of tricks to maximize our chances of not getting separated. Because there's nothing worse than trying to install car seats while your partner and other child are 20 rows back. Here's what worked for us after much trial and tribulation in the school of family travel hard knocks.
First things first - pay to pick seats whenever possible. Yes, those pesky seat selection fees annoy everyone. But for families trying to guarantee adjacent seats, they are worth every penny. Even if you score seats together at booking, airlines can still change assignments later. Forking over the extra cash locks your picks in place.
Second, set calendar alerts to check-in precisely 24 hours pre-departure. I cannot stress this enough. The airline computers methodically dole out seat assignments based on check-in order. By logging in at 24 on the dot, you beat most of the masses trying to score seats.
Third, arrive at the gate early. I mean way early, with at least 45 minutes to spare. This gives the gate agent time to work their magic in case the dreaded seat changes have occurred. Pleading your case calmly to move back together is doable with an early gate arrival. Once boarding starts - fuhgeddaboudit.
Fourth, don't be shy. Ask nicely if a fellow passenger will switch so your family can sit together. Bring candy to share, or offer to buy someone a drink. Many road warriors take pity on families and will change seats if approached graciously. Don't be pushy, just appeal to their better nature.
Fifth, be super sweet to flight attendants. I know, it's uncomfortable groveling to airline staff, but it works. Most attendants understand how hard it is to fly with kids and will bend over backwards to find creative solutions. A smile, friendly chat and sincere thank you if they help often does the trick.
Lastly, prepare for failure. Even if you do everything right, the airline Scrooges still might defeat you. In those moments, accept that you've done your best. Pull out the iPads, stock up on snacks, and make a game out of sitting apart for a few hours. Take solace knowing it will make for a good story down the road.
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - When Kids Kick the Seat in Front
The dreaded kick. As a parent, few things irritate you more than when your child starts rhythmically kicking the seat in front of them on a flight. You know how annoying it is, having been on the receiving end plenty of times yourself. But what can you really do besides feel ashamed and try in vain to stop it?
Kids kick seats for lots of reasons. Their little legs don't have much room, and seats are perfectly positioned for them to play drum sets with their feet. They're bored, restless, irritable, or excited. Or they simply don't understand how bothersome it is. You can empathize with the nearby passengers getting kicked. At the same time, you know your child isn't really trying to cause trouble.
So attempts to stop the kicking often fail. Stern whispers of "Please stop!" only work temporarily before the thumping little feet restart. Bribery with snacks or toys offers a short term solution. Various threats may momentarily scare them into stillness. But inevitably, the kicking returns. Such is the relentless energy of a child confined too long in a small space.
The mortification for parents is real. You hope your offspring isn't the one causing the guy in 24B to keep throwing angry glances your way. But odds are, they are. And when the exasperated passenger finally snaps and asks that you "control your child!", the shame burns hot. You apologize profusely while vowing to do better, even as you know your pleas are pointless.
In those moments, all you can really do is understand others' annoyance, convey sympathy, and exude patience. Assume good intentions from your child, who likely just needs more active sitting options on flights. Bring toys and devices galore to keep them engaged. And when all else fails, keep a mental count of the minutes left until you can both escape the confined space and their restless legs.
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Crying Babies and Judging Eyes
Nothing elicits more furious glares and sighs of exasperation from fellow passengers than a wailing infant. As soon as that first shriek fills the cabin, you sense all eyes turning your way, boring into you with judgment and blame. Why haven't you stopped the infernal squealing? Do something, anything, to make it cease!
But what strangers fail to realize is that a crying baby torments parents more than anyone. Yes, the noise grates on the eardrums of nearby flyers. But for mothers and fathers, each screech stabs the heart. Parents feel wholly inadequate in that moment, unable to comfort their child and powerless to meet their needs.
Babies cry for countless reasons while flying. Their ears hurt from pressure changes. They're scared by the strange surroundings. Their snacks spilled or lovey got lost. But the cause almost doesn't matter - there's no quick fix available at 30,000 feet. The crying and judging eyes continue unabated.
Other tactics like nursing, rocking, pacifiers - they help at times. But parents know not to rely on them fully. Babies operate on their own schedules and motivations, oblivious to social pressures. So when jars of food, toys, crayons, or shows on the iPad all inevitably fail, resignation sets in for the parent. Accept the judging stares and do your best to calmly ride out the storm.
Because when an infant cries in confined spaces, what strangers think hardly matters. You can't take it personally or let scornful looks compound your stress. Focus on your child and restoring their precious peace. Try every trick you know, even if you've run through your toolbox 100 times before. Show others - and yourself - that you have not wavered in your devotion, regardless of the awkwardness.
For while fellow passengers resent the noise, they forget babies are innocents. They aren't willful toddlers kicking seats or bratty teens blasting music without care. These are helpless beings unable to articulate their needs, wholly dependent on their parents for comfort. Keep that trust alive despite the stares.
Over time, the reassurance needed shifts. No longer must you convince your child, but rather your own wounded self-confidence. Those judging eyes plant seeds of doubt even in the most experienced parents. "If I was better at this, could I calm my baby?" Inner criticism takes root. But don't accept other's scorn as proof of your failure. You know how hard it is and how devoted you remain. That is what matters - drown out the judging cacophony.
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Elbow Wars in Tiny Spaces
The dreaded elbow wars. As soon as you settle into the cramped airplane seat, you sense the battle is about to begin. Your wide shoulders sprawl onto the armrests, invading the space of neighbors on both sides. Politely you try to retract, pulling elbows close to your body. Yet even slightly reclined, your frame oozes outward.
You attempt small talk, jokes, apologies for your broadness, to smooth tensions before conflict arises. But subtly, persistently, their elbows creep forward. Probing gently at first, soon more boldly thrusting over the invisible barrier between seats. Annoyance grows on both sides at this territorial chess match. The armrest becomes a no man's land where neither party wishes to yield.
As a tall or wide traveler, small victories feel mandatory for enduring long flights. You must assert yourself in the elbow wars to retain a morsel of dignity and comfort. Giving up armrest dominion means shoulders scrunched forward and arms awkwardly pinned. Minor victories like defending just one armrest provide space for an elbow to relax.
Yet kindness prevents total armrest conquest. You understand when your encroaching joints grate on a petite seatmate. Their barely suppressed glares plead for some tiny patch of rest to lay an arm. So you alternate dominance - left arm here, right arm there. Or divide the armrest lengthwise, though its narrowness makes this an imperfect compromise.
Occasionally you swing for the total coup - both armrests simultaneously seized in a moment of disregard for your neighbors' space. Yet pangs of guilt quickly follow at their discomfort. You relinquish dominance once more. Because preserving humanity matters most, even when elbow room is scarce.
Sure, flight attendants could mediate these siloed battles. But involving others feels petty over minor annoyances. Plus no hero will arrive to grant additional space. So you wage private struggles, knowing neither party achieves total victory. The truce lies in finding fleeting advantages that don't dominate or distress.
Plane Truths: The Case For and Against Changing Seats for Families - Why Airlines Make it So Hard
Why do airlines seem to intentionally complicate the process of families sitting together? After all, they want return business from families and satisfied customers. Yet antiquated seat assignment systems, indifference from agents, and revenue-driven shuffling leave many clans separated on flights. What gives?
Several factors drive this consumer-unfriendly approach. First, airlines use legacy software that can't easily link family bookings with seats. Parents get mad at agents, but their hands are often tied by aging technology. Agents literally have to manually search seat maps to find pairs or groups of seats, then cross-reference with passenger lists. Imagine doing that across a 250-seat aircraft for hundreds of travelers!
Second, keeping families together earns airlines $0 extra. In fact, it often costs them money to pay staff to hunt for seat pairs and juggle bookings. Most travelers select flights based on schedule and fare rather than seat policies. And families simply sigh and accept getting split up as the cost of cheap tickets. With no revenue upside, there's little incentive for airlines to invest in improving the experience.
Third, separated family seating maximizes revenue opportunities in premium cabins. Airlines can capitalize on desperate parents paying extra to guarantee seats together. Or they oversell economy, knowing some travelers will pay up for roomier seats if split from families. While ethically questionable, it fattens profits.
Fourth, families get deprioritized by staff swamped with tasks before departure. Rebooking elites, meal prep, cleaning -gate agents have a barrage of duties. Working to reunite families falls low on the urgency scale. And attendants onboard have safety duties limiting their ability to play seating matchmaker.
Fifth, airlines parse out "perks" like advance seat selection as add-on revenue. Charging extra for families ensures key customer needs get met. Yet it leaves a bad taste for travelers who expect such basics as sitting together to be included with ticket cost.
No single driver fully explains the seat scramble families endure. Yet clearly, revenue motives, outdated systems, and strained staff all play a part. It reflects how travelers get treated more as profit centers than people.